"many neo cons are behind Bush for those reasons you and i abhor.and when those are leading the country astray,you have no choice but to fight back. what you did today, you feel bad about it. maybe because you had intention of putting him down..it's hard not to hate a person instead of hating his/her behaviour.but when you can do the latter, i think you can assert your point without feeling guilty."

Thanks for the kind words Mike.

I think everything is messed up.

which is ok, since I made all my choices that leads to this destination. I did my thinkings.

The person who is paying my tuition and loves me, is in China, with severe illness that she needs to be supervised, and I don't even know if I can go back to see her and take care of her as what children should do in my goddamn situation, here I am building my negative karma again.

And when I really wanted was a new and better life, I always got into bloody situations at the critical moments. With the money I got from her, I gave away to things irrelevant to my education. wow how messed up am I? And here I am now, dealing with it like doing a business with someone, being considered incompetent and irresponsible since I didn't do
"my part" as he expected, the hell I wanna be responsible..if you don't really give a damn about me?

Yea so, I have lost my faith in everything, but it's ok, because it means I really don't have anything to lose now. If I really wanted something, maybe a good future and completed 4 years education for myself..even going to graduate school, to make enough forture to take care of the one that really loves me. Because... when I always thought that there are people that really cared about me, to find out that it wasn't the truth. Everyone wants a piece of me that is useful to them, except my mother, who asks nothing in return.

The fatalism of Knapp's relational module

The psychologist/sociologist has a module that "fits all relations in all situations" that suggests that" all relationships come to an end".

It is pessimistic, but I guess it is somewhat true.

Now it makes me think, hey if it's all gonna end this way...why bother?

At least..Iam too lazy to bother..

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